When to Use May or Can, and Which or That?

When do I use ‘May’ as opposed to ‘Can’? And ‘Which’ or ‘That’; which one’s used when?

 

In the vernacular we are often a bit lazy and say ‘can I do something or other?’ rather than ‘may I?’.  If we use ‘can’ it really means that we are asking if we are able to do something, whereas ‘may’ indicates that you are asking permission. 

 

Here are some examples you may wish to consider:

 

·         Q:  ‘Can I go to the park with the boys please, Mum?’

·         A:  ‘Yes you can, but I don’t give you permission.’  (What a grump, eh?)

 

·         Q:  ‘Please may I go to the park with the boys, Mum?’

·         A:  ‘Yes you may, Ian, but make sure you’re home by 5.00 o’clock as it’ll be getting cold by then.’

 

·         Q:  (…thinks) ‘Can I sing out loud now?’

·         A:  ‘Yes I can, my voice has returned now that I’ve thrown off nasty cold and cough I had.’

 

·         Q:  ‘May I sing out loud now?’

·         A:  ‘Oh yes please do, the baby always laughs when you sing – perhaps it’s because you are so off-key.’

 

Have a look at the sentence I used to introduce the examples.  I wouldn’t have said that you ‘can’ consider the articles as I would very much like you to look at them!  ‘May’ is more inviting in this instance.

 

Which or That or Who – Which one is used where?

 

‘Who’ refers to people: we shouldn’t say

 

·         ‘Ian was the boy that wanted to go to the park.’  We would, however, say

·         ‘Ian was the boy who wanted to go to the park.’

 

I’ve always found ‘which’ and ‘that’ much more difficult.  We often find that we have those pesky little mental blocks, but at last I have found something to help me remember when to use which one!

 

‘That’ is used for essential things and ‘which’ for the ones which aren’t so necessary.   There are some things that must be done and others which may be done (later, perhaps – if at all).

 

If you think about it from another angle you can see how easy it becomes. 

 

·         ‘Which cake would you like?’

·         ‘I’d like that cake please.’

 

In the first example you are given a choice – the response, however, brooks no argument.  So when you are writing that article, about which you have pondered long and hard, I hope this gives you something to consider.  Good luck with all of these.

 

‘Please can I stop reading this article now?’  ‘Yes you can, and you may.’

‘Please may I stop reading this article now?’  ‘Yes you may!’